True Feelings
by QueenofRhymes
Summary: He treated her badly at first but then when he sees that she's hurt and it's possible for her to die, he will do everything in his power to prevent it from happening. A two-shot. COMPLETE! rated strong T
1. Chapter one

Author's note: I do not own –man. This is going to be another one-shot for one of my favorite pairings kanlena. Hope you guys like it!

_**True Feelings**_

Kanda was called by Komui in the middle of the night. The Japanese exorcist had no other interest except sleeping and that was the only thing he wanted to do but unfortunately for him Lenalee's brother had other plans for him. He sighed as he entered through the door bracing him to meet a stupid bean sprout or an idiotic one-eyed red-haired rabbit but his grey eyes were met with an annoying smile of a Chinese girl who had mesmerizing violet depths which he felt as if could see right through his very soul. That was something he did **not **like at all. The fact that someone knew him so well irritated him to no end, even more than the stupid comments of the two idiots she called "friends". Kanda glared at her but she just kept that undying smile on her pale but beautiful face.

_Since when do I think her face is beautiful__?!_

"Don't worry Kanda. You are going to go on a mission with me not with Lavi-kun or Allen-kun." She stated the obvious, which made him glare at her even more intensely than before. He hated it when someone told him something, which could be seen even by a blind man. He didn't care that it was her. That didn't make his eyes narrow less. In fact, it even made him use his death glare for he thought that she had some fault for his current lack of sleep for another night. Lenalee sighed and explained the mission to the pissed of exorcist. It was basically just a stupid mission to go to a small town, kill all the akuma there and get back. Simple as that which meant that she could've gone alone. But no her overprotective brother wanted someone to accompany his precious little sister and he just **had **to choose him over everybody else only because he had absolutely **no interest **in her as more than an acquaintance and he was planning to keep it that way but even Yuu Kanda couldn't stop fate.

They got into the boat and then on a train. Their journey was safe and had no setbacks but something was odd for Kanda. Normally Lenalee would at least try to start a conversation with him or even with the finder but this time she as silent as him maybe even more which strangely for him made him worried.

The exorcist sighed as he leaned back against his chair. His eyes were looking at the wall, which separated his room and Lenalee's. This made him very worried for her. She hadn't said absolutely anything during their little journey and she didn't even say good night to him or the finder. Her manners were one of the best in the whole Order. She was the kindest and nicest person he had ever met and the most cheerful one. She always had a smile on her face.

Then suddenly it hit him. She hadn't said anything nor smiled since the left the Order. He sighed and hit his forehead with his arm a few times, as he called himself an idiot at least seven or eight times. Kanda didn't know these feelings that were rising in his chest. He knew that it wasn't only worry for her. He felt something else for her but just couldn't put it into words. Was he falling for her? And if so then why so suddenly? Had he always felt something for her but this feeling decided to come to surface exactly this night.

The sun rose above the horizon and lit the room of an exorcist who had not slept even an hour of what was left of the night. He sighed as the bright light lit his room and made him cover his eyes. He quickly grabbed his katana and headed out so he could start looking for the demons but first he had to wait for Lenalee to show up. He had been waiting for her for almost an hour and still she wasn't up. Even the finder started to worry. Kanda sighed and decided to go up and see if she was all right.

He went up the stairs and knocked on the door at least five times but no answer came. Kanda did not know what to do so he decided just go in seeing as the door was left unlocked.

When he entered the sight before him made his eyes widen and his mouth to drop open slightly and a small almost unnoticeable blush appear on his cheeks. On the bed, Lenalee was lying in nothing but a towel, which because of the night covered only her chest and a small part of her stomach while her legs and her panties could be seen. He wondered how she hadn't been shivering or how she had fallen asleep like that but those questions immediately disappeared as his eyes started staring at her beautiful almost completely nude body. Thanks to the crystal type of her innocence, her long creamy legs were exposed. His grey eyes started from her ankles and went up to her thighs and then to her pink panties. Kanda stared at that small piece of clothing and thoughts, which are not meant for little children, started clouding his mind. The Japanese exorcist mentally slapped himself for that and tried to avert his eyes but they just went up to her flat stomach and then to her chest which was covered by the white towel. He mentally cursed it was there and wanted to remove it, to see what was beneath it. To see even more of her but he ignored that wish knowing that if he did it, he would probably not live to see the sunset. Then his eyes continued their study of her body. Grey orbs went up past the sensitive skin of her neck, which made Kanda want to bite on it. After that they stopped at her pink plump lips. He wanted to kiss them. To feel them on his. To feel the warmth of her body beneath his. It was then that he noticed that her long hair was spread across the bed. Then he saw the true picture of her innocent but dangerous for every man's eyes beauty. He now knew why Komui was so overprotective since his daughter had grown into a very beautiful woman. Lenalee was now eighteen but he was sure that her innocence had not been taken, **yet**. He was not even sure if she kissed anyone but remembering that one time when she and Allen disappeared and the next day the moments between them were awkward made him think that he was completely wrong.

Suddenly her body started moving and her eyes started to open up slowly. When her violet orbs met, his grey ones and she remembered that she had nothing but panties on her made a deep blush stain her cheeks, which made her even more attractive and innocent in his eyes. He didn't think the would be able to control himself any longer so he decided to leave the room.

" We are waiting for you outside."

She nodded which he saw from the corner of his eye but the deep red blush was still on her cheeks.

"Don't worry. I just came."

She nodded again unable to do anything else and waited for him to exit before she got up and dressed into her uniform.

She came down a minute after Kanda and avoided his piercing gaze since she was too embarrassed for he had seen her completely naked or well almost. They made a little research or mostly she did and since every citizen said that, the last attacks had happened in the forest they decided to go there.

As they were walking an akuma which was level two appeared out of nowhere along with five that were level one. Lenalee activated her innocence and took the finder to a safe place as Kanda destroyed all the weaker demons. The girl came back and started dodging all the attacks from the level two akuma, which looked like a scorpion. The female exorcist assumed that it had poison and was right since all the trees that had been hit started dying. She avoided a few more and tried to kick it and destroy it but the demon hit her with it's tail and injected a small amount of its poison inside the girl's body. Kanda didn't see it but came in time and killed the demon. He looked around and concluded that there weren't any akuma left. His gaze fell on the girl on the ground. He glared at her for the shown weakness but quickly stopped doing it when the finder came. He helped her up and swiftly followed the Japanese exorcist back to the inn. During all the way Lenalee kept her head as low as possible so her fringe could hide her tears half due to the awful treatment she received from the man she cared deeply for and half due to the pain which she felt in her back.

When they reached the inn, Lenalee smiled and bid both of them a good night. The finder smiled at her while Kanda only nodded and the three of them got to their rooms.

As soon as she was inside her room, she collapsed on her bed. The girl immediately fell asleep.

During the night, Lenalee woke up. Her whole dress was wet with sweat. Tiredly she pulled it over her head and threw it on the floor. She put on a spaghetti strapped nightgown that went mid thigh and opened the window. The wind blew her long dark green hair. As she was watching the ground, everything started spinning and she still had red staining on her cheeks but it was not a blush this time. She closed her eyes, shook her head a few times, and reopened them. When everything seemed fine, she decided to take a walk so she jumped through the opened window and was ready to land safely on the ground when her head started spinning. Her eyesight then became blurry and she hit the ground hard. Then everything became dim.

Kanda could not sleep for some unknown reason and decided to take walk and clear his mind, which was clouded with thoughts about Lenalee, her perfect body, mesmerizing eyes and beautiful plump lips. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair as the cold night air hit him. He opened his eyes and then stopped dead in his tracks. In front of him on the ground was lying none other than Lenalee. He quickly bent down and picked her up. He saw the redness on her cheeks and her paler than usual face made him understand that she either had a fever which was not very likely or she'd been hit by that scorpion like demon and now had poison in her body. That thought made him rush even more. He quickly went to her room and laid her carefully on the bed. He took one last glance at the now unconscious girl and decided to leave her after covering her with a warm blanket. He hesitated before lightly kissing her forehead, which he noted, was quite warm.

The next morning Kanda got up, put on his coat, and went to Lenalee's room. He remembered telling the finder to get back to the Black Order while he took the girl to the bookman who could stop the poison from spreading any further and get her body rid of it.

When he entered the room, he saw that she had already got dressed but her face was still ghostly pale and the redness was still on her cheeks. She was weak. Even if you were blind, you could still read the signs. Her breathing was very heavy and it could be heard even if you weren't in the room. She could barely move her body out of the weakness and exhaustion. Kanda knew that if they didn't make it in time she could…..No! He didn't want to even think of the possibility that he would have to live….**without her**. No! He was going to take her there in time. He had to. He just had to.

Author's note: I was thinking of making it a one-shot but it will turn too long so I decided to upload it in two chapters. If you like it, review please! Thanks for reading!


	2. Chapter two

_True Feelings_

Chapter 2

Time was running out. Kanda knew that they had to move faster but the exhaustion on Lenalee's face made him rest a lot more often than usual. He was being too protective and too worried about her but how couldn't he when she looked like a ghost in that black uniform. Kanda thought that if he didn't turn around to check if she was behind him, she would disappear. The Japanese exorcist knew that was not just falling for her because of her body. He was in love with her as a person. She was caring, cheerful and was always nice to almost everyone but she could be fierce and very dangerous when she fights her enemies. He loved the fact that though she looked quite slender and easily breakable she was not. In fact she was on of the strongest exorcist in the order, could even rival his speed and stamina although he would **not **admit that **aloud**.

"How….much longer….do we….?" Lenalee couldn't even speak a normal sentence without losing her breath. It was then that Kanda rushed to her and put a finger on her delicate lips silencing her. This was the first time he was gentle to another human being but he just could not let her talk when she was so tired and could barely walk.

"Don't talk." Though he wanted it to sound gentle, his voice still had coldness in it. The Chinese girl just managed to nod but it was barely noticeable. Kanda was tired of her pushing herself to her limits so his next actions surprised both of them. Before Lanelee had any time or strength to protest he picked her up and carried her bridal style until night fell.

As he was ready to take a rest for a while for Lenalee had fallen asleep. Kanda looked at her face. Her skin was ghostly pale and the redness in her cheeks had not subsided. It had even become redder which surprised him a lot. At that time he knew that the poison was spreading too fast and that they needed to hurry so that was the reason why he decided to walk and not rest though even the almighty Yuu Kanda can't walk forever.

The Japanese exorcist sat on a log panting from exhaustion for he had been walking or actually running for the past five hours with no rest at all. Soon he managed to start breathing normally again and looked at the girl who was now lying on the log with her head resting on

his lap. Kanda was very worried for her. He knew that all they had were another three or at the very worst five hours until they reached the bookman but something made him rather than just run all the entire way that was left.

Kanda touched her cheek so gently and lightly as though it would shatter from his touch like a porcelain statue of a beautiful angel. His hand burnt from the warmth of her cheeks. The redness of her face was growing and her breathing was getting even harder. Though it was a good sign that she was not dead, he did not want it to be there. He wanted her to be smiling like always. He wanted the lively, cheerful, and energetic Lenalee grinning at him and annoying him with that undying light of happiness and hope in her dark and mysterious eyes. He wanted the life of her face, smile and eyes back. He wished that it was him poisoned and not her but he knew better than anyone else that it couldn't happen no matter how much and how truly and deeply he wanted it to come true with all his heart. At that thought, his grey orbs traveled down from her cheeks to her rosy lips. He stood still for a moment unsure of his next actions but as soon as he heard another harsh breath coming from her delicate lips, he covered them with his as though that way he could take all the poison and pain away from her body. A short almost unnoticeable gasp escaped from her but it soon faded away along with Kanda's lips. He did not know whether she was aware of what had just occurred but to be honest he did not really care. He wasn't even sure why he did it but something in him made him lean down and capture her lips with his in a short, gentle kiss which at the same time held so much emotion; his worry, his fear, his love, his sadness, his sorrow, his pain, his regret, his guilt. All of that was locked in that kiss and released with it. Now Kanda got up as though he had just received a lot of energy and strength from somewhere and quickly picked up his angel. He was even more determined than before to take her to the bookman so that the poison could be removed from her body.

As Kanda was running through the forest and saw the roofs of the houses a smile appeared on his lips. He now knew that they were almost there but his hopes soon were crushed when two akumas appeared in front of him. Both of them were level two but with Lenalee in his arms he was going to have a hard time fighting and destroying both of the demons so that is why he decided to run. Though he was fast the akumas were a lot faster and soon caught up to him. The Japanese exorcist activated his mugen and with a few dodges of their shots like a lighting he jumped and slashed one akuma into pieces. He quickly jumped back and covered Lenalee's fragile body with his so that any bruises or cuts, which may appear from the demon's explosion, could be avoided. When the demon disappeared, he looked around for any signs of an attack from the second one but there was no danger. Then Kanda looked at Lenalee and smiled.

"Hang on just a bit longer," he said and then kissed her forehead.

"How touching," came an annoying voice of none other than the second akuma.

_Since when can second level demons talk__?_ Kanda jumped back quickly and aimed for his enemy with his katana but a hand suddenly hit him making him fly towards a tree. The Japanese hit the ground but managed to keep Lenalee unharmed this whole time though because of that he lost hit weapon. Kanda saw where it went and thankfully neither one of the akumas knew where to look but he could not move fast enough to get it. He was well aware of that and knew what he had to do as he saw the two demons pointing their weapons at the two of them. Kanda quickly hugged Lenalee's body covering her small form with his and bracing himself for all the attacks which were going to come but in stead of pain and blood all he saw

was a streak of white and green light and heard harsh breaths mixed with gasps. Kanda felt like he was going to throw up when something spun him around as fast as a blink of an eye. Then he saw that his mugen was right beside him and didn't hesitate any longer. He quickly ran and slashed those two demons. They disappeared after another explosion. Kanda looked around searching for the exorcist who had helped him and more importantly for Lenalee. As his grey orbs traveled along the scenery when they fell upon the girl's panting form on the ground his eyes widened.

_She…she…she had enough power…to not only activate her innocence but also to…save us both. _

To say that Kanda was surprised would be an understatement. He was astonished, amazed and a lot of other emotions clouded his face and made his heart beat but then he remembered why they had to hurry and quickly rushed over to Lenalee who had fainted from the exhaustion.

Lenalee woke up in a room with white walls and a window, which let the moon shine and light up the whole room. The girl looked around her surroundings surprised that she was not outside. Then it hit her.

"Kanda-kun!" she screamed and that made the door burst open. The Japanese exorcist was holding his katana and was ready to kill the things that made her scream. He was worried but when he checked everywhere, he realized that there was no danger but the reason she had screamed his name was still unknown to him. Kanda then looked at her and his eyes grew wide. Lenalee was now smiling at him. Her face was full of life and happiness and her eyes were shining again. To him this scene was one of the most beautiful he had ever seen. The girl's hear was left loose and she was wearing pink pajamas while Kanda because of the dirt and blood his exorcist uniform was covered with it had to be washed was wearing civilian clothes – a white shirt and black pants.

"Thank you for saving me," said Lenalee. Kanda just nodded which in his language meant "You're welcome".

"Why did you scream?" he asked which made her blush.

"Um… I was worried about you…" she started but then turned tomato red, which made him, chuckle. He knew that there was another reason apart from her worry for him because of the last encounter with the akuma.

" If you are just worried about me, then why are you blushing?" he questioned and stepped closed sitting on her bed.

"U-um…I-I was worried t-that's all!" she answered while stuttering and mentally slapped herself for that because now he wasn't going to let go of the subject until he got his answers.

_How can I possibly tell him that after all we both went through the thing that I was dreaming about while recovering was he and I making love to each other__?! _

" Lenalee, are you embarrassed because I saw you half naked?"

_Smooth Kanda, real smooth.__Where did that come from__?__!"_

The question made her blush again.

" Y-you w-WHAT?!" she almost screamed and Kanda quickly pinned her down so that she wouldn't make any harsh movements or maybe the real reason was that he wanted to live. He grabbed her hands and kept them above her head while he put his other hand on his elbow so that he would not fall and crash her. He then trapped her legs with his and finally after

looking at her red face he realized in what kind of awkward position they were in. If Komui came in right now, he would probably scream and want to murder Kanda for sure. The Japanese exorcist saw something unfamiliar in Lenalee's eyes. Their color was a bit darker than usual and she did not look like she wanted to kill him. Kanda then remembered how innocent and dangerously alluring she looked in those pink panties and nothing but a towel left to cover her chest. At that exact moment he realized that he wanted her. It was true that he loved her and would not do anything to her if she did not really want it but the chances of that happening were almost slim to nothing. He was ready to get up and leave but her voice made him stay where he was.

"The r-reason why I was b-blushing w-was b-because I-I had a d-dream about y-y-you and m-me…" she started but then stopped taking in a deep breath. Kanda frowned a bit. He didn't like it when she was stuttering. It happened very, very rarely and when it actually did, it was only for things, which are of high importance, or they bothered her a lot.

_What could it be that she is so afraid of telling even me__?_Kanda thought when he looked that the Lenalee's face became less red.

"I d-dreamt t-that y-y-y-you and I…" she tried again and gulped.

"Yes?"he was not going to let go of it. He had to know what was bothering her and he had to find out now.

"madelovetoeachother!" she said it so fast that it took time for Kanda to understand it but the minute he made out what her words meant a small blush started tinting his cheeks too along with hers.

An awkward silence filled the room. It was both uncomfortable and unpleasant at the same time. Tension filled the air and neither one of them spoke for another couple of minutes. Since Lenalee felt guilty for it she was the first to speak.

"Don't worry Yuu-chan it's probably nothing. I mean you're tall, dark and mysterious. Plus you are quite handsome and attractive. It's normal for me to have fantasies about you even if they are a bit inappropriate."

Kanda's eye twitched and he glared at the girl.

"Do **not ever **call me like that **ever again! **Understood?"

She nodded unable to do anything else. Kanda was ready to glare at her again when he noticed that part of the buttons of her shirt were unbuttoned and went down to where the valley of her breasts started. He swallowed hard and quickly turned away but the girl noticed his blushing face. A devilish smile spread across her lips and as she got up and crawled to Kanda. She was now behind him and peeked through one of his shoulders but his face was turned the other way around. She frowned a bit but then decided to try something.

"Are you blushing Yuu-chan?"

That question made his vein pop up. He quickly turned around and was ready to shoot a menacing glare towards the girl but when he saw the perfect expression of innocence on her face, his anger subsided. The top part of the pajamas was unbuttoned and was a bit too big for her so it fell and left her right shoulder bare. At the sight of her milky skin the want returned. He now had a very hard time controlling his emotion. The small parts of his self-control that were left after that sight were the only things that were preventing him from ravaging her right then and there. He was going to turn around and walk out of the room when he felt her soft lips near his earlobe. Then he felt something wet and warm touching the inner part of his earlobe.

_Was she seducing him__?_

After a bit more time of Lenalee's soft and agonizingly slow licks she stopped. She was teasing and seducing him at the same time but even that did not make him give in.

_Then what could possibly make him listen to his body and not that rational annoying mind of his__?_ Then she remembered something and another devilish smile made its way to her lips. She

made her way to his ear again.

"You know, I am not wearing any underwear at the moment," she whispered and looked into his eyes, which were a very dark shade of grey because of his growing lust for the girl. After just a second of looking into her dark violet depths that held lust and surprisingly at the same time innocence in them his self-control shattered to pieces. He roughly smashed his lips against hers taking he aback because of his sudden actions. He wasn't satisfied with just that. Soon he was licking her bottom lips demanding for an entrance, which she happily provided. Now his tongue was in her mouth tasting every single inch of her. She was as sweet as honey. He massaged her tongue for a bit and then there was a battle for dominance, which he of course won. The fire and passion of their kiss grew when her inner thigh accidentally brushed his nether regions. He groaned while she moaned at the sudden contact. The heat soon subsided because they had to break apart for air.

After a few minutes of panting and passionate kisses Kanda's mouth started moving downward until it reached her neck. He started kissing the sensitive skin and when he reached the most sensitive part of her neck he bit it marking her as his. That made her moan with pleasure. Things were starting to become just like her dream and Lenalee liked every single part of it.

At the end of their love act, they both said those three magical words that can make any human being extremely happy.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

**Author's note: **I am very sorry that I have not updated any of my stories for a long time. The reason is that I have been so busy with schoolwork that I just could not write anything at all. I hope you will al forgive me and if you liked the ending you know what to do: **R&R…**


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